As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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