Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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