You can't special order awesome
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
