Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize