I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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