I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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