Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
