i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
