I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
