I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
