That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
