we have officially lost it.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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