there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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