Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
