I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It's official drugs can't kill me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
