that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
