that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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