you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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