what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
