Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
