id be glad to
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
