oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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