All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
