It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
