i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Randomize
