I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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