They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
