sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
