I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize