hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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