I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
