you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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