They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
