Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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