I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize