arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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