well I can't set my house on fire every night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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