but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize