So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
