I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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