Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Houston, we have a squirter
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
