He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
