Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
two words...techno handjob
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
