laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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