Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
