Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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