Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
