I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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