hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
