I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
