So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
