i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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