"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
