I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
