So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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