thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
