Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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