i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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