used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
