Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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