Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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