No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
