I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
