i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
