I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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