This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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