I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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