i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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