i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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